“Cindy Kiersten, stop being such a monster!”
THAT was the voice of my mother. I heard those words a lot whilst growing up.
Yep… I said, “whilst.” This is a classy post, people, and the first in my New Series…
THE WHEELHOUSE CHRONICLES
A brief history of my career organized by specialty.
Since we have already established in previous posts that I’m only allowed to write about things I’ve done and not what I’m doing because I am beholden to the Almighty NDA and I have really hard time staying in the writing groove anyway because I procrastinate until I think something is perfect so I’m thinking that poooooosibly if I promise a series then I will be more inclined to deliver because I hate it when people think I’m a liar but now this is a really long run-on sentence and I promised you a classy post so already I’m lying and now I’m busted even before I’ve actually begun.
Welcome to my head.
But I digress…
Apparently, “Monster” was in my blood so it should really come as no surprise that it’s become one of my favorite things:
Being A Monster.
Now, I guess times have changed because my definition of “Being A Monster” is different.
Does it mean…
-Chasing my sister down the stairs and stepping on the potato sack “cape” she wore around her neck to see what would happen? (What could go wrong?)
-Sneaking up behind my mother in her rocking chair and poking her with a hat pin? (She screamed and poked me back.)
-Holding down my little brother and pulling out his leg hairs? (I would like to say that I outgrew that phase but the reality is that my brother did. He’s now 6’3 and I am… Not.)
Nope. These days it means sounding like a Monster.
On a side note… Fred (voice of The Hulk) and I recently voiced two teenaged boys together sooooo does that make him a Cindy Robinson Type? *drums fingers expectantly*. Probably not, but it’s good to have a dream.
But I digress…again.
Turns out, MONSTERING, (yes it IS a real word!) is quite an art form and I’m only beginning to scratch the surface of its complexity.
My first real Monster Gig was on the movie, PREDATORS. I sat Indian style on the floor of the studio and watched the aforementioned Fred T. do a series of clicks and whistles that brought the character of a dying demon to life. I then got to blend my voice with the terrific Robin Atkin Downes‘ to create an alien pig foraging in the jungle.
Talk about awesome!
It ranks right up there as one of my favorite sessions of all time and was the beginning of a beautiful friendship…
Besides PREDATORS, I have…
-Ripped my throat out as multiple zombies with varying levels of undead intensity in WARM BODIES.
-Been sidelined for 3 days after repeatedly performing the mega-inhale screech (the “signature sound” for an Alaskan town full of vampires) in 30 DAYS OF NIGHT: DARK DAYS.
-Spent hours reaching into the dark corners of my brain, morphing impediments, voice cracks and screams of horror to create a bevy of surgically hybridized mutants in GOTHAM.
-Drooled, coughed, growled, ripped, torn and gnashed my teeth in THE RIVER, THE UNBORN and THE GRUDGE 3.
However, lest you think that all Monster Work is created equal, I am here to tell that…
… it is not.
There are also adorable Monsters in this milieu.
-Some whose tiny utterances are the first noises they’ve ever made. (Coming soon in a project yet to be revealed.)
Yay! I’m now one of those douchey actors who says, “I got cast in something awesome and I wish I could tell you… But I can’t!
-Some in their teens such as Holt Hyde in MONSTER HIGH. (There, the fine people at Mattel let me riff a’la James Brown.) This ultimately became the most vocally stressful character I’ve ever created.
But did I mind?
Not in the least because it’s a great way to spend a session and I’m so grateful that it’s my day job.
So the next time my mother shouts, “Cindy Kiersten, stop being such a monster!”
I will kindly respond in my best Menacing Growl…
“Not a chance, Mom. Not a chance in HELLLLLlllllllll!!!!!”