Cindy@redheadsaid.com

Cindy Robinson

The One And Only

I Do

I Do  

Dec 2013

I have to admit…

I’ve only wanted this blog to be work-related.  That’s why I don’t post very often.  I’m rarely allowed to talk about my jobs.  (Please see {both} earlier posts!)

But a couple of weeks ago, things kind of… changed.

It’s odd.  My soft-spoken neighbor, Randy Kreeger, whom I’ve known on a casual basis for the last couple of years, (the extent of our relationship was to plot about dressing up as ninjas in the middle of the night to replace all of the plants on our common area patio with frilly types of geraniums because no one in our small, 10 unit historical building could agree on a “look”) was murdered in his apartment a mere 60 feet away from mine.

No… unlike many of our neighbors, I wasn’t scared.  It was an isolated incident.  Randy knew his attacker and had even let him in the front door.  The kid was so stupid that he…

Well..

The details aren’t pertinent.

But what came out of it is:

The moment I pulled into the driveway and heard that Randy was “missing,” I knew we’d never see him again and to me… it became a business.  I watched the police.  I listened to the questions.  I numbed out and took notes because…

This is what I do.

My wheelhouse is FBI-Cop-Lawyer-Ass-Kicking-Tough-Chick and right then, I wasn’t acting… I was experiencing it all first hand.

Within 24 hours, I got the news that Randy was no longer with us.  I was sitting in the booth, recording a game when the text arrived and as I sucked in my breath, feeling as though I’d been punched, my darling director, Patrick Seitz, asked if I needed a moment.

“No, thank you.  May we please keep working?”

The following day, as I heard that Randy’s attacker had been apprehended and had ultimately confessed, I was back in the booth recording another game as a a sweet-voiced, child-like dragon who must say good-bye to a complicated, tough-talking villain.  Tears ran down my face as I delivered the dialogue.  And then…

I had an epiphany:

I’ve always done this.  I have always turned to work when things got out of control.

–When my parents didn’t get along, I buried myself in show albums and sang at the top of my lungs.

–When I had to make decisions as to with whom I would spend the holidays, I sighed with relief as I avoided the conflict because “I had to work.”

–When my husband died, I was back in the studio 48 hours after his memorial.   (Ironically, on Memorial Day)  I remember my animation director, Kelly Ward, hugging me and saying, “We’re recording on Wednesday but take all the time you need.”

I replied…

“I’ll see you Wednesday.”

My work is my solace.  It’s my love.  It isn’t just what I do, it’s who I am.  For better or worse. For richer or poorer.  In sickness and in health…

I Do.

And I’m so grateful for the opportunity.

So today, after processing for the last couple of weeks, I am going to romp out and buy a geranium for Randy.  It will sit proudly on my back patio and I will always remember his sweet demeanor and how unfair it is that he is gone.

And I will always wish that I could have done something about it. Because that’s what…

I Do.

Addendum:

Today, I opened my mailbox and what should arrive for the first time in 6 years?

A Jury Duty notice.

Well played, Universe.  Well played.

1 Comment

  1. Kyle Hearnsberger

    Oh my gosh,
    That almost made me cry, no joke. I’m so sorry for your loss. I refuse to specify whom, but a few weeks ago, my family and I had a loss (a very much beloved member of our family), and a week later, I – myself lost a good pal of mine I’d known for a long time.
    I’m terribly sorry for your loss. A year or so back, I lost a former girlfriend-turned-good-friend as she was in surgery. I’m not sure what the specific surgery WAS, but she was a very dear friend of mine and I miss her greatly.
    I know there’s no words I could say that could probably ever ease the pain that you probably endure with the passing of your friend, but in speaking from the heart as a true fan, I just wanted you to know I’m here for you. That is a total bummer. So sorry for your loss, ma’am.
    On a much happier-intended note, I don’t know if I could put into words just how much I’m a fan of your Astrid character from the Dark Brotherhood from my favorite video-game Elder Scrolls V : Skyrim (I always get the Legendary Edition – if any prior copy messes up due to my own clumsiness…HAHA !!), but your character – although she is freaking creepy, I still manage to find myself being a huge Astrid fan. Even if she’s a bit dark and sinister, she has some hilarious dialogue. I wanted to simply thank you for playing the part OF her, as she is one of my favorite people on the game, PERIOD !!! 😀
    In the future (whether it be soon-future or long-time-from-now-future, one of my life goals is to get the honor of meeting, face-to-face, any people who were involved in my favorite video-game’s making – hopefully including you and the awesome (and quite lovely) Laura Bailey. 🙂 HUGE Elder Scrolls V – Skyrim : Legendary Edition fan. Take care of yourself, ma’am. Sorry for the slightly lengthy note, by the way – as my intention is bragging a little bit. A lot of your fellow SKYRIM voice-actor (and voice-actress of course) friends have gained a huge fan in myself, and I hope to have the huge honor and privilege of meeting a lot of you in person someday.
    With best regards from one of Skyrim’s biggest fans EVER,
    Kyle
    P.S.
    One of the funniest people on the game is Mr. Robin Atkin Downes who portrays Mr. Brynjolf of the Thieves Guild. GUY IS HILARIOUS !!!!

    Reply

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